All the Afflictions I've Never Had

Abba, Father,
Mighty God,
my Healer and Sustainer,
I thank you for the health and vitality I enjoy,
for the energy and ability that characterizes my daily life.
I thank you with my whole heart
for all the afflictions I've never had,
all the sufferings I've never had to face:
from AIDS to anemia,
arthritis and meningitis,
autism and muscular dystrophy,
from botulism to mad cow disease,
ALS,
cancer and carpel tunnel,
cerebral palsy and cholera,
kidney stones and diabetes,
diphtheria and ebola,
salmonella,
typhoid,
epilepsy,
epstein-barr,
necrotizing faciitis,
gout,
heart disease,
hepatitis,
high cholesterol and high blood pressure,
malaria,
lupus,
lyme disease,
Hodgkins,
polio,
SARS,
shingles,
smallpox,
stroke,
tuberculosis,
tetanus,
Tourette's,
multiple sclerosis,
yellow fever,
and more,
and more,
and more.
I thank you for every danger and affliction I have escaped,
even as I pray for those who have not,
in Jesus' name, amen.