Tantrum

Abba, I'm so tired of being the grown-up.
I'm so tired of being the leader,
the person who has to rise to the challenge,
the person who has to humble himself,
look at himself,
apologize,
be an example,
figure things out,
look at the big picture,
come up with a solution,
make everybody happy,
blabla blabla bla.

Right now I want to be the one who gets to
throw the tantrum,
and generally act like a child.
I want to be the one who gets to
put all the burden on someone else, you know?
I want to be the one who gets to quit.

I know, I'm called to put away childish things.
I'm called to a holy standard.
I'm called to lead.
I just don't want to.
So I guess I'll pray, please supply the want-to,
because right now I'm running only on the have-to.